In life, you’re not always aware of moments from the past which defined and created your life as you know it today. Sometimes, it takes years to realize how the events of a past date significantly impact our present moment. We are all affected by specific dates and past fates that provided us with the road we are on today. You are aware of some events immediately; some reveal themselves later in life. I have such as story, a moment in time that created my life as it is today.

The date was September 25th, 1978. It was a warm autumn day in Los Angeles and most of California, with beautiful blue skies and a warm, breezy Santa Ana wind condition. I was a new college student at Cal State Northridge and was in my first class that morning. As the clock struck 9:01 am, 120 miles away, tragedy rocked the San Diego area in what is now the infamous airplane crash, in which 144 souls left this earthly dimension. I remember hearing about the PSA Flight 182 crash and the emotional news reports about this flight, departing from Sacramento to arrive in San Diego, with a short stop in Los Angeles. I remember thinking how scary it must have been for the people in the air and on the ground who were part of this tragedy. Still, I am sure I compartmentalized it in my brain and moved on, not knowing how this crash could have altered my future life's trajectory.

My partner of the last 40 years, Ray O'Sullivan, was supposed to be on that flight from Sacramento to San Diego. He was a new hire with PSA Airlines, "the bird with a smile," as it was known, a growing commuter airline company that provided air service up and down the California corridor. PSA brought the "F" word to flying: " fun." The flight attendants (stewardesses) wore orange and hot pink miniskirt outfits, with super cute pill hats and go-go boots. The airline had fun, and vibrant energy, felt by the passengers and the employees. Most people who worked for PSA felt like this company was part of their family, and close friendships were formed. San Diego was the main base for this airline; in 1978, it was the sleepy, getaway beach town, which the residents hoped would remain a secret, so that it could stay close-knit and small.

Ray was hired as a new "ramper," or Field Service Agent, for PSA, in Sacramento on August 22nd, 1978. Rampers are the workers on the tarmac, bringing up the luggage, loading and unloading them, directing the planes to the gates, and restocking supplies and food. They also have the "fun" job of draining the biffy, the toilet refuse, from the plane's underbelly. The rampers in Sacramento were a tight group of older Vietnam vets, and, for the most part, a new hire was rare. However, this particular summer, there were two new men, my Ray and another young gentleman, Mario, to join the ramp crew. Ray felt he had scored a Disney land job and loved being a ramper. PSA paid very well; however, Ray knew it was not his end job but a means to his real dream of being an independent businessman. The pay and the flexibility of hours allowed Ray to explore and learn about land development (his future passion).

Both men had been at the company for a month and were scheduled for training, in San Diego, for a few days. Ray was excited to be traveling to San Diego because his sister Barbara (who was a PSA Flight Attendant) lived in Mission Beach, and they loved spending time together. He also loved body surfing the ocean waves and couldn't wait to get to this beautiful city. The day before their flight was scheduled to depart, Ray discovered he was taken off Flight 182 and his training canceled. He was told he needed on the ramp instead because they were short-handed. Ray was upset and went to express this to his boss. Fortunately for Ray, his boss was at an emergency dental appointment; he was not there to answer why Ray was pulled off this trip. Ray was annoyed and frustrated but knew he would handle whatever was needed for this job. Mario was still scheduled, and he made this fateful flight to San Diego.

On the morning of September 25th, Ray was waiting for his college economics class to begin when his professor walked in and said, "Did you hear what happened to PSA today? They lost a flight over San Diego! How will this affect their stock?" Ray asked him to repeat the announcement because his brain could not accept what his ears had just heard. The professor repeated the information, void of many details since it had only just happened. Ray packed up his things, left the class, and drove straight to the Sacramento Airport. He knew his sister, Barb, could be on that flight. Ray went directly into the PSA office and began to look for a manifest and the passenger list to determine if his sister was a passenger. His sister Barb, the flight attendant, was meant to come home to San Diego that morning because she was finishing her two-day flight shift. PSA had multiple flights hourly; many PSA workers commuted to and from work. In 1978, phone communication was minimal; only landlines, no cellphones, existed.

Additionally, many phone lines were down due to the crash, and the lines were jammed with numerous callers regarding the flight. Ray remained calm but extremely worried as he sat at the station with all the workers around. His large, Irish Catholic family, seven brothers and sisters, and two devoted parents were very close-knit; Ray imagined the devastation to his family if Barb had been on Flight 182. It was chaos in San Diego, and at every PSA city base, since over 35 employees were on that flight for one reason or another. Five hours ticked by; no manifest for the flight, no word from his sister. Suddenly, a flight landed from San Diego, and Ray recognized a flight attendant who knew Barb. He asked her if she had seen his sister today. She said she had, and she knew Barb was safe in San Diego. She also said Barb was on the plane directly behind flight 182, going into San Diego. With calm gratitude, he called his parents to let them know Barb was safe.

This brings me to my story. Ray shared this story a few years into our dating. It was a brief conversation that I could feel he did not want to expand upon. Recently, we discussed that day in detail – his thoughts and feelings, recollections of the chain of events that led to him not being on that fatal flight. This made me ponder my life had Ray been on that flight. I asked myself, "What if Ray was not held back from training and was on PSA Flight 182?" The world, as I know it today, would look entirely different. Our union has created three beautiful children and two amazing grandkids. I know the world would look so very different without Ray. Questions swirled through my mind: Where would I be living? Would I be living in my dream city of Colorado Springs? Would I have ever married? What about all the people Ray has affected since that date? What would their lives look like without his energetic touch? He has helped so many people financially, emotionally, and more. Also, my kids and grandkids would not exist in this earthly dimension, nor would the people they, too, have affected. All these crazy questions came up when he told me about that fateful day. I get so so sad, knowing how the world would be so different without Ray; what would it look like without him? Also, how different things would be for me, not having known and spent my life with this amazing man. It was a feeling of an It's a Wonderful Life scenario, pondering how many lives would have been affected if he had stepped on that plane. For me, what I know for sure, is it would be a less heartfelt world without his presence and my children's and grandchildren's presence in this world. Ray does not like accolades, so I will not keep going on about him; he would be upset with me for praising him. That is who he is, at the soul level. I am so grateful for his canceled flight and for the manager having a dental emergency. I am grateful for my sister-in-law, Barb, who was fatefully spared from being on PSA Flight 182. She has also done great things in her life and had children and grandchildren, who are also amazing individuals.

Things that happen daily can affect you down the road -- a death, a birth, a crash, a single moment in time. I say the road is paved in many different directions; it's up to fate and choices that can define a person's life. Time is ticking, and we must live our best life today because tomorrow is not guaranteed. I often say this to the clients I read for because I am a professional Medium and Psychic. I am also grateful for this earthly time and the true understanding that life is fragile. I pay respect to all the families that have lost such amazing souls who were on that flight. Ray has spoken about how kind Mario was and how saddened he was, knowing he was on that flight and others he knew from the PSA family. I know the victims' families have their "what if "moments as well if their loved ones had not been on that fateful flight. I know San Diego and PSA were never the same after that day, but I knew it did bring the PSA community closer and the San Diego community. From darkness does come light. I know this tragedy created better ways to track planes and better communication between air control and pilots. You cannot fully heal and grow without looking to find out the grace and goodness that occurs after a tragedy. I appreciate the dark and the light because they help us grow in our human experience.

What I also know for sure, as a professional Medium, is death is not death but life in another form. Energy does not dissipate but transfers elsewhere. Our souls do not die but continue above. Some people call this heaven, the universe, and more. In that crash, the souls that left the earthly dimension on September 25th, 1978, still speak to their loved ones, watch over them, and help from the other side. The loved ones left behind have to be open to the possibility of their presence, look for the signs, and believe.

As a medium, healer, and psychic, this reflection comes from a deep space of gratitude, knowledge, and more.

Carmel OSullivan, Heart to Heart Medium
Healer with a Message!
Carmosullivan.com